The Nightmare of the Terror Suppository

Just received from the future

London, 14 Aug 2011 (MNN) – British Police has today foiled a major terrorist plot involving a novel usage of bodily orifices. A group of men, women, children and dogs were arrested in various parts of the UK after an inside source aired their plans to board a series of planes, trains and automobiles after inserting exploding suppositories in their, well, you all know where suppositories are meant to be inserted

Whilst security forces have been removing potentially triggering beans from kitchens and refrigerators, thousands of previously neglected doctors are being given the limelight (and some searchlights) in all major international airports

They are instructed to proceed with proctological examinations of all passengers. People are reacting surprisingly calmly to the new in-depth safety procedures. Are they used to the feeling already, one wonders

In other news, reports indicate that new proposals for air travel safety against terrorism will involve the prohibition to carry humans on board. According to a spokesperson, “It is a well-known fact that all terrorists are humans, so it is in the interest of travelers that we make sure none of that species travel on passengers planes”