The Ascent of Al Gore

1969 – Bachelor of Arts (Harvard)

1976 – House of Representatives

1984 – Senator

1988 – Joins the Presidential race

1992 – Vice-President

2000 – Most-voted Candidate

2007 – Oscar

2007 – Emmy

2007 – Nobel Peace Prize

2009 – Lifetime UN Secretary General

2010 – Lifetime Chairman of the Nobel Peace Prize Committee

2012 – Lifetime Pope (well, it comes with the job)

2013 – Grand Ayatollah Supreme Leader (idem)

2014 – Joint Chief Rabbi, Sikh Guru, Buddha’s Reincarnation, etc etc

2015 – Replaces Charles III as King of the United Kingdom

2015 – Chooses title of “Defenders of the Faiths and Unfaiths” (that’s Political Correctness for you)

2020 – Becomes Alus Gorus “Caesar” Augustus, Planet Emperor

2021 – Acclaimed Divus in world-wide plebiscite

2021 – Commands Climate not to change. Climate complies (it would not have changed anyway, but that’s a secret…ssshhh!!)

2021 – Temples in his name start to spruce around

2022 – Convenes US Supreme Court, gets reversal of 2000 decision

2100 – Shortly before his death^H^H^Hascent to Heaven, forgets to command Earth to stop earthquakes (alas!)