London, 25 November (MNN) – The Metropolitan Police has announced today the arrest of a notorious character living in Finland for the recent disappearance of two discs containing the details of 25 million United Kingdom residents.
The elderly looking man, of whom only the first name is known (“Claus“), has been implicated by his interest in the personal behaviour and whereabouts of children all around the Kingdom.
The initial alibi (Mr Claus says he has “a big job to do in exactly a month’s time“) has been dismissed as “feeble and unproven to say the least“.
An assistant constable has further declared: “When I have been a naughty boy in my youth, this dodgy bearded guy gave me no presents at Christmas. It’s only just for me to take revenge upon him with all sorts of made-up accusations“.
ps In unrelated news, police have revealed Claus’s nickname among low-lifers such as helpers and elves to be “Santa“.