Football: Support Maurizio for the Top England Job

(1) Won’t do worse (can’t)

(2) Won’t stand underneath an umbrella when the players are out in the rain

(3) At only £300k/year, I’ll be a bargain

(4) Achingly boring private life will ensure newspapers concentrate on the football instead of girlfriends and meet-ups with dodgy, super-rich people

(5) Highlights of press conferences will be geeky, controversial remarks on global warming

(6) I promise to move footballing strategy beyond age-old “kick the ball forward and run

(7) I can speakka Inglisch (other candidates cannot)

(8) As an additional bonus, after retirement from competitive football, aging players will be able to work as Murex IT Consultants

One Reply to “Football: Support Maurizio for the Top England Job”

  1. You get my vote – but poor old Wayne Rooney is only just taking his GCSE’s, how are we going to train him in the art of Murex?

    It’s a game of three halves etc.

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